Man in his Pyjamas A collection of comedy writing, poetry and Asperger Syndrome.

Horror Sphinx – a bed hopping nightmare

Bed hopping is a regular occurrence in our house. We have three young children and often in the wee small hours at least one of them will decamp from their own bed into another. It’s par for the parental course. Luckily for me, on most occasions the children are on the hunt Read more →

I hereby resolve

I’ve never really been one for making resolutions on January 1st, as I tend to resolve quite a lot during the year anyways. Often I stop drinking alcohol for extended periods of time, or engage in sporadic health kicks as a result of an unexpected glimpse of my girth in Read more →

Clam (caught in the act of red-handedness)

Oft on a weekend morn, I go power walking. It’s my new thing. Note, I power walk, not speed walk. The two are very different. The Power Walk requires a steely gaze, an assertive stride and a steady, but challenging pace. It’s manly in its aim. The Speed Walk on Read more →

Make a difference today – sponsor some whiskey

I should like to alert you all to a most wonderful opportunity to sponsor some single malt whiskey and make a real and genuine difference – today. This golden opportunity has recently come to my attention and is just too good to not share with you, my most esteemed and revered Read more →

Funny, funny or funny, funny?

Funny? Check! It is fair to say that over the years I have spent a lot of time trying to be mildly amusing. I’ve developed a way of being that fits me like a three-fingered glove. I am comfortable with people laughing at me and tend to covet that very reaction. Read more →


I have three young children, who are all wonderful, let me hastily start by saying that. They are wonderful, wonderful little gits.  I also have a wonderful wife, who is wonderful. Everything is wonderful. Except for one minor/major issue. They are all so goddamn NOISY. Oh my DAYS they make SO much NOISE. Read more →


One does not set out to be a complete nobhead, one just is a complete nobhead. It’s a natural state of ‘being’. The situation itself, in which one is a nobhead, is largely irrelevant. The seasoned, season-card-holder of all things nobacious, can generally do his or her thang, regardless of the seemingly Read more →

Bloody Matthew

After three bottles of ale mid-week, it appears I agreed to take my daughter to her dance class on Saturday morning, so that my wife could attend a thoughtlessly booked hair appointment. I think I may have been set up? A faux-double booking, to foster me leaving the house and attempting to Read more →

Choosing him

It is no secret that I will avoid most human interaction, if at all possible. It’s not that I don’t like people per say, rather that I find human interaction somewhat bothersome, and thus would much prefer to spontaneously burst my appendix than talk. Despite Bob’s ascertains, it is not good, it’s hard. Read more →


There are two things I like about hats.  In order, they are: 1. The way they feel 2. The way they look This is my yang. There are also, as it happens, two things I dislike about hats. In order, they are: 1. Other people 2. Other people This is Read more →

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