Man in his Pyjamas A collection of comedy writing, poetry and Asperger Syndrome.

I hereby resolve

I’ve never really been one for making resolutions on January 1st, as I tend to resolve quite a lot during the year anyways. Often I stop drinking alcohol for extended periods of time, or engage in sporadic health kicks as a result of an unexpected glimpse of my girth in Read more →

Clam (caught in the act of red-handedness)

Oft on a weekend morn, I go power walking. It’s my new thing. Note, I power walk, not speed walk. The two are very different. The Power Walk requires a steely gaze, an assertive stride and a steady, but challenging pace. It’s manly in its aim. The Speed Walk on Read more →

Make a difference today – sponsor some whiskey

I should like to alert you all to a most wonderful opportunity to sponsor some single malt whiskey and make a real and genuine difference – today. This golden opportunity has recently come to my attention and is just too good to not share with you, my most esteemed and revered Read more →

Funny, funny or funny, funny?

Funny? Check! It is fair to say that over the years I have spent a lot of time trying to be mildly amusing. I’ve developed a way of being that fits me like a three-fingered glove. I am comfortable with people laughing at me and tend to covet that very reaction. Read more →


I have three young children, who are all wonderful, let me hastily start by saying that. They are wonderful, wonderful little gits.  I also have a wonderful wife, who is wonderful. Everything is wonderful. Except for one minor/major issue. They are all so goddamn NOISY. Oh my DAYS they make SO much NOISE. Read more →


One does not set out to be a complete nobhead, one just is a complete nobhead. It’s a natural state of ‘being’. The situation itself, in which one is a nobhead, is largely irrelevant. The seasoned, season-card-holder of all things nobacious, can generally do his or her thang, regardless of the seemingly Read more →

Bloody Matthew

After three bottles of ale mid-week, it appears I agreed to take my daughter to her dance class on Saturday morning, so that my wife could attend a thoughtlessly booked hair appointment. I think I may have been set up? A faux-double booking, to foster me leaving the house and attempting to Read more →

Choosing him

It is no secret that I will avoid most human interaction, if at all possible. It’s not that I don’t like people per say, rather that I find human interaction somewhat bothersome, and thus would much prefer to spontaneously burst my appendix than talk. Despite Bob’s ascertains, it is not good, it’s hard. Read more →


There are two things I like about hats.  In order, they are: 1. The way they feel 2. The way they look This is my yang. There are also, as it happens, two things I dislike about hats. In order, they are: 1. Other people 2. Other people This is Read more →

The Russian Lady

My wife had made the appointment for me whilst I was at work.  She does lots of things for me whilst I am at work, such as making a mess of the house, changing the settings on my sound system and spending all of my money. Moving forward, she will most likely take Read more →

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