I survived – Mazeltov and Huzzah! (If this statement leaves you perplexed, read this earlier post and then return to this…for continuity you understand)
After 3 (THREE) different nurses were unable to find my veins…..
Them: Have you ever had problems being able to find your veins before?
Me: No? They’ve always been there. In my body. You know. Like my bones?
(not sure where you trained ladies but you are not appeasing my fear)
So, after being labelled the fainting oddball (that is actually written on my notes) that hides his veins to be awkward, I laid there, clenching and unclenching my buttocks and tried desperately not to pass out. I remained conscious and tried very hard not to be too troubled by the faux-sympathetic looks of the ‘nurses’ that kept their eyes fixed on my slowly-filling blood bag (the bag I dare not ever look at) as they passed nonchalantly by to casually observe if I was dead.
Her: Oooh – you’re a slow one aren’t you!
Me: Is that bad?
Her: (Walks away and says nothing)
Me: (screams in his head)
Anyhoo – Five pints of orange juice, a packet of cheese and onion and a BIG wee later and I’m on my way home, feeling like Maximus Decimus Meridius after an excellent day at the office.
That is pint number two. They aren’t counting. But I am.