1. I was apparently told to watch the baby when Wifey went upstairs. I can not confirm or deny this. However I can confirm that I did not watch the baby and that the baby was found eating cat food in the kitchen. I can also confirm that I am in trouble.
2. I was asked to make Wifey a cup of tea, and I did in fact make Wifey a cup of tea. Success. I failed however to furnish her with the cup of tea and left it on the work surface in the kitchen, to go cold. ‘On purpose‘. When asked to re-heat it in the microwave, I took far too long to do so. When I did get around to warming up the tea, I left it in another incorrect place and the tea went cold. Again. I am in double trouble.
3. I built the wrong configuration of ‘Hot Wheels’ track, resulting in a toddler melt down and me being the worst father EVER. I was instructed to sit on the naughty step. I did.
4. Today, despite being good humoured and handsome (my words no-one else’s) I have been ‘incredibly annoying’ because every time I am left alone for a moment (and some when I am not) I have my head buried in my laptop, furiously typing away and sniggering to myself. (I amuse myself if no-one else). Back to the naughty step.
5. As of yet there is no five (!) I anticipated, as a result of the way the day was heading, that I would be laden with choices for number five when I wrote the title. Yet alas nothing. Result.
Currently I am making a sweet potato and aubergine curry that I found http://goodnessis.com and trying to be attentive. I have offered more tea, wine, the opportunity to go for a nap and leave me in charge (!) and a free ticket to some pyjama-less action when the kids have retired for the evening. All rejected. Particularly the latter. (I heard a snort I am sure).
(In actual fact, currently I am sat at the kitchen table, listening to chaos upstairs, surrounded by aubergine and sweet potato recipe stuff and haven’t technically started doing anything. So I may be back with a number five update shortly