Ma soapy watnot!

My 5-year old daughter won’t stop staring at my man junk when I’m in the shower and it’s PROPERLY weirding me out. She’s just so blasé about it for God’s sake!

Everywhere my Rodger goes, she’s sure to promptly follow. She’s like the Mona Lisa of nob monitoring. I feel like I’ve got willy CCTV. My captain has its own goddamn Truman Show.

I can’t shower quick enough and believe me, I’ve tried! I sneak in while she’s sleeping, but when I turn around mid-shampoo, both hands aloft, she’s stood there, like the freaky girl from The Shining, staring at ma soapy wat not.

We’ve had entire conversations about her school day, with her not once breaking penile eye contact. NOT FOR A SECOND. It’s like she’s hypnotised by my love monkey.

Maybe my willy is Paul McKenna? Maybe it’s the pendulum effect?

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