Man in his Pyjamas A collection of comedy writing, poetry and Asperger Syndrome.

I expect

I expect my tea on the table.

Both slippers pushed under the bed

I expect my underpants ironing

And my newspaper left unread

I expect my toenails cut once a month

And all plugholes free from hair

I expect no less and all the rest

Or I’ll go to the foot of our stairs

*

I expect undivided attention

Silence when watching the news

I expect tea and toast in the morning

Spare me your best friends views

I expect to excess with impunity

Reimbursement of your bus fares

I expect no less and all the rest

Or I’ll go to the foot of our stairs

*

I expect my private parts tinkered with

Visitors turned away at the door

I expect to be placed on a pedestal

And worshipped forever more

I expect you to confer with my Mother

Re: the particulars of all I like

I expect you to smile like the angel you are

And say “bollocks,on your bike!”

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