Is it valuable or urgent?
And if so how so?
Is it essential it’s received?
I.e. does it really need to go?
Would the recipient notice if it went astray?
Would you be happy with delivery three weeks today?
Ok a month
But that’s definitely the most
Of course that’s only 1st class post
We could send it 2nd if you’d prefer?
Reducing the cost you would incur
And with 2nd we can absolutely guarantee
Your letter would arrive within 3
Years of yesterday’s date
But if you feel that that’s a smidgen late
There’s recorded delivery, but we can’t be sure
It will actually reach the intended door
It’s an awfully long way from here to there
It’s quite a big job and we just don’t care
To get the signature and hand over the mail
Most of our chaps are fresh out of jail
And to be frank
(Please forgive the pun)
A lot of your post is stolen.
So if you want my advice go for the best
Special Delivery Post
We shall not rest
Until your parcel reaches its destination
Now the size is important and the weight more so
I could quote you now
If you’d like to know?
Perhaps a Post Office loan could help with the cost?
You’re paying for the promise that it won’t get lost
And we won’t nick it, we shall not fail
We’re here to serve
We’re the Royal Mail.
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